AnneC.

Such a bitter statement. . . SO FULL OF REGRETS.. but's that's the way it is. *writing this entry is one way for me to let go of all the complicated mixture of feelings that i have inside of me* one told me once, that what i would go into is like riding a roller coaster. i thought that i am almost finished - yeah, almost. infact, i already removed my seatbelt - unfortunately, the cart began to move again - slowly at first, then faster and faster until i was not really able to refasten my safety gear and unfortunately was caught unarmed. Sometimes we make mistakes, mistakes that hopefully, we'll learn from. But what if that one mistake that you made would lead you to a situation where you would let go of something you already learned to love doing. or maybe i was just exaggerating or much better, i hope i am just dreaming, that one day, when i wake up, i would not feel so stupid, as what i do feel right now. (then i would not feel so ashamed of myself and hope everytim...

it has been almost 18 years (17 years, 9 months and 12 days to be exact) that i have been living in this complicated world. but sadly, i never learn or maybe i do. or maybe, it is really part of life that when we thought we already learned something in life and we are tested by God, we still end up blaming Him for the things that we are experiencing. Actually I'm the type of person who believes that God gives everything for a reason, that everything has its own purpose, that we are just being tested and that we should always be strong. But i've realized that once you are in the situation where you are being "tested", it is very hard to remain strong. and that whatever people tell you, you can never help yourself from blaming Him and from hating the world. * * * It's hard to live alone, away from your family. but due to circumstances, i need to be away from the people i've known all my life. Some desperately asks for independence, to live away from th...