I have been trying to write these feelings down but the brain heart balance was a little off; I cant even finish a thought that would make sense. Until today, after going out of the hospital with the sun up, being able to run and as I enjoy the best happy food ever created for humans - potato corner and milktea. Too much expectations from oneself and I again found myself spiralling down, losing grip. Some wont understand, but it's my own perceived shortcomings whether validated by external factors (even indirectly) or not - a load of them then triggered by a shortcircuit and the switch for the red flag goes on. Yes, yes, I know, it's the type A personality of demanding too much from oneself. It works perfectly most of the time but yes yes I know that being too hard on oneself is a toxic habit I have yet to get rid of my system. Add to that this world - this world which has the habit of asking more when you are able to deliver more. Hence the endless cycle of supply and dema...