AnneC.

Ive been drafting this entry for quite a while now, I always doze off before being able to post it, hence posting it just now. Almost 6 months and in that almost half of the year, I get to say these words everyday - "Pagod na ako" and variations of it. An everyday end of the day statement, and sadly, sometimes a good morning realization as well. It's probably due to the lack of Vitamin D - thanks to the everyday airconditioned working environment (my cold intolerance has improved significantly). But mostly because, what I've been doing for the past 6 months sadly often, leave me fatigued, sleepless, hungry and frustrated. Fatigued and sleepless from the every 3 day duty schedule, from the workload and the awful load of responsibilities - we often joke about how everything in our MROD world is to be addressed and is most often blamed to the Medical Resident on Duty. Hungry, thanks to the countless of meals missed, our kidneys are also probably diseased from the d...

It has been three months since my last blog entry, and I have to admit, I really miss writing. And you give time to things you miss. Hence, this is me finally breaking my blog hiatus. :) I miss home. Mindoro home. And my Facebook news feed does not help this homesickness. Homesickness, I must have last felt when I was in high school, in my first few months of staying here in Manila. I miss medical school when your only problem was really passing your exams and the many extracurricular activities that come with wearing those white uniforms. I miss PGH, that all too familiar smell of the PGH hallways I never thought I'd actually miss. I miss internship when you feel like you thought you have a lot of responsibility only to realize that it was just really patikim come residency. Ah. Residency. The main reason why I miss a lot of things and people. It has been three months since my first year MROD (Medicine Resident on Duty) life started. And basically here's what I've bee...

Waking up on a rainy morning makes me think about a lot of things. A lot of things to take in and sometimes, everything becomes a blur that I need to pause, reflect on things. And what better way to spend my me time than to write my thoughts. Past weeks have been all about new things - new people, new environment, making new memories. And the gloomy weather somehow makes me remember and miss the old. Sabi nga ni basha, "Anong masama sa bago?" The new is interesting, exciting and fun. But there are times when, in my trying to adapt to the new, i eventually use up all my happy energy (and being a more than less introvert person, my stock of happy energy is relatively limited). And probably the past week of learning new things, engraving in your brain and trying to imbibe a new culture left me tired and thinking of the old.  Change in environment and in the culture is good. We learn new things and we become better. And that has always been one of my reasons for seeking ...

This is an "if-all-else-fails-read-this-for-good-vibes" blog entry. :p 22 days of living in the province and I have found more reasons to go back. I have been away from home for about 15 years, going home only during summer and semestral breaks. And since medical school - clerkship and internship, this was probably the longest that i was able to stay. In that 22 days, i was given the chance to look after my Lolo. I was able to bring my friends over and make them appreciate the beauty of our place. I had the opportunity to have a glimpse of what a future private practice might look like during the 12 clinic days that I relieved my father of his physician duties at the clinic. Basically seeing patients in the morning and bed rolling privileges in the afternoon. :p I was able to do my first (of many) unsupervised deliveries (and episiorraphy!).  I was able to become a full time daughter and tried my best to promote peace in the household (haha).  But more than trying to spend th...

"To heal sometimes, to treat often, to comfort always."  This was always shown on our lectures in medical school, always reminded to us when we entered the hospital scene. But i only learned it's real value recently. It has been days that my parents were constantly updating me about lolo's condition. He was having difficulty breathing. When I got home and saw lolo - i know there and then that he needs to be intubated. But in a setting where we dont have the needed facilities and where we want to respect our patient's and the family's wishes, we are left with one task and that is to make them comfortable and no longer add to the burden that they are already experiencing.  So walking into his room i gave him my biggest smile, and he smiled back inspite of his dyspneic breaths. I know that he was happy to see me. And probably (hopefully) found comfort in the fact that now there are 2 doctors beside him. My lolo is a fighter. He was part of the military, e...

Being a doctor entails a lot. It entails a lot of time and energy, a lot of heart and strength. It entails a lot of understanding, and generally a lot of oneself. This is one thing that I have seen and experienced again and again especially at this very crucial moment of my career. I am almost up to the end of my pre-residency period. Pre-residency is part of the application process to become a resident - a medical doctor in training for a subspecialty of choice. It's like a period where in you as an applicant are "testing the waters" and where they test your resiliency and capacity to do the tasks at hand. Adapting to the new environment is a challenge knowing where I came from. To say that it was difficult is an understatement. Having to wear a skirt everyday is something I was not used to and one of the many new things I have to do. And although the boyfriend is happy to see me dressed up whenever we see each other, being in jeans and rubber shoes still give me tha...

It was not my first love. Never in my wildest dreams have I thought of choosing that specialty in my first three years of medical school. But two years ago, it started with me crying inside the clerks call room. I was a post duty clerk on preduty monitoring schedule with one intubated patient in shock that I cannot get a decent blood sample from. Followed by the fear of morning endorsements and the adrenaline after being called for a first time full endorsement on a temporary in-charge (TIC) patient. Day by day, I found a reason to go back and do my duties. Day by day I slowly found myself falling in love with what I was doing. And at that moment, I know this is what I want. A year after that, I know I found my true love. In spite of standing up again and again to answer questions on my toxic patients, in spite of having to admit 20++ patients during my junior admitting physician duty, i know in my heart, this is it. And I know that it is true love because it is not only what my he...