it has been almost 18 years (17 years, 9 months and 12 days to be exact) that i have been living in this complicated world.
but sadly, i never learn or maybe i do. or maybe, it is really part of life that when we thought we already learned something in life and we are tested by God, we still end up blaming Him for the things that we are experiencing.
Actually I'm the type of person who believes that God gives everything for a reason, that everything has its own purpose, that we are just being tested and that we should always be strong.
But i've realized that once you are in the situation where you are being "tested", it is very hard to remain strong. and that whatever people tell you, you can never help yourself from blaming Him and from hating the world.
* * *
It's hard to live alone, away from your family. but due to circumstances, i need to be away from the people i've known all my life. Some desperately asks for independence, to live away from their parents. but me? i desperately wish they live with me here. I just miss them so much.
they say, time flies fast and that it's over before we know it. i have already spent almost 6 years of my life away from them and unfortunately, i could never go back to those years and stay with them. This may already be a cliche but they say we could never really cry over spilled milk yet I really feel bad whenever i think of the times that i could have spent with my family (anyway, who wouldn't given my situation?)
but I was just practical. i have my dreams and my parent's dreams for me that i want to pursue, that's why i made my choice. then why am i having regrets?! maybe because... never mind.
* * *
i've read something really nice today. something that made me smile. i don't know why, but reading quotations about love, no matter what is it about - letting go, moving on or the happy sort of love - anything about love, really makes me smile. maybe because, i know they are true. haha.
"the hardest part of losing love is when we realize that there is really no way of getting back. When we start to feel that the person we care so much about is slowly slipping away emotionally, we begin to feel deep unbearable pain. Sometimes that pain still haunts us for years even if we have finally come to accept our fate." (How i wish i would never feel the last statement. haha.)
"The only way to move on is to free yourself from any thoughts of him and hopes of having him in your life again." (maybe.)
"Many of us think that when we fall in love, it will be forever. Sometimes we ask so many questions and wish for so many things when the only thing that is important is for us to accept the fact that not all relationships are meant to last." (so true!)
"Always remember that the people who leave us are those who are happy living their lives on their own. Those who stay are the ones happier sharing their lives with us. And they are the ones who would make every single day worth looking forward to. They are the ones worth sacrificing for." (i realized that i should never be selfish, we should let go a person who wants to leave for the person's own happiness.)
"When a relationship ends, it is meant to teach us valuable lessons we should use in life. The relationship that survives the test of love is the one that would wipe away our tears and erase all hatred and bitter memories of the past. It is the one that is truly meant for us and the one that we could keep and nurture for the rest of our lives." (and i'm smiling. =) though i have no idea when i would find this kind of relationship. i'm more than willing to wait for it and for the perfect time.)
* * *
Lastly, i would like to share that i can never be any more thankful for my friends, (both friends since whatever number of years and my newly found friends). They have given me joy in my everyday life and they made me laugh despite all the problems, trials, challenges, etc.
my friends are my support system in everything i do, the almost substitute of the family that i am missing badly,though, no one can ever replace my family. and im again thankful that my friends are there to help me understand things -from acads to org life and to life in general - and even understand people like.. haha. peace! =)
to all my friends, no THANK YOU is more than enough. =) Godbless!
Aja! =P
but sadly, i never learn or maybe i do. or maybe, it is really part of life that when we thought we already learned something in life and we are tested by God, we still end up blaming Him for the things that we are experiencing.
Actually I'm the type of person who believes that God gives everything for a reason, that everything has its own purpose, that we are just being tested and that we should always be strong.
But i've realized that once you are in the situation where you are being "tested", it is very hard to remain strong. and that whatever people tell you, you can never help yourself from blaming Him and from hating the world.
* * *
It's hard to live alone, away from your family. but due to circumstances, i need to be away from the people i've known all my life. Some desperately asks for independence, to live away from their parents. but me? i desperately wish they live with me here. I just miss them so much.
they say, time flies fast and that it's over before we know it. i have already spent almost 6 years of my life away from them and unfortunately, i could never go back to those years and stay with them. This may already be a cliche but they say we could never really cry over spilled milk yet I really feel bad whenever i think of the times that i could have spent with my family (anyway, who wouldn't given my situation?)
but I was just practical. i have my dreams and my parent's dreams for me that i want to pursue, that's why i made my choice. then why am i having regrets?! maybe because... never mind.
* * *
i've read something really nice today. something that made me smile. i don't know why, but reading quotations about love, no matter what is it about - letting go, moving on or the happy sort of love - anything about love, really makes me smile. maybe because, i know they are true. haha.
"the hardest part of losing love is when we realize that there is really no way of getting back. When we start to feel that the person we care so much about is slowly slipping away emotionally, we begin to feel deep unbearable pain. Sometimes that pain still haunts us for years even if we have finally come to accept our fate." (How i wish i would never feel the last statement. haha.)
"The only way to move on is to free yourself from any thoughts of him and hopes of having him in your life again." (maybe.)
"Many of us think that when we fall in love, it will be forever. Sometimes we ask so many questions and wish for so many things when the only thing that is important is for us to accept the fact that not all relationships are meant to last." (so true!)
"Always remember that the people who leave us are those who are happy living their lives on their own. Those who stay are the ones happier sharing their lives with us. And they are the ones who would make every single day worth looking forward to. They are the ones worth sacrificing for." (i realized that i should never be selfish, we should let go a person who wants to leave for the person's own happiness.)
"When a relationship ends, it is meant to teach us valuable lessons we should use in life. The relationship that survives the test of love is the one that would wipe away our tears and erase all hatred and bitter memories of the past. It is the one that is truly meant for us and the one that we could keep and nurture for the rest of our lives." (and i'm smiling. =) though i have no idea when i would find this kind of relationship. i'm more than willing to wait for it and for the perfect time.)
* * *
Lastly, i would like to share that i can never be any more thankful for my friends, (both friends since whatever number of years and my newly found friends). They have given me joy in my everyday life and they made me laugh despite all the problems, trials, challenges, etc.
my friends are my support system in everything i do, the almost substitute of the family that i am missing badly,though, no one can ever replace my family. and im again thankful that my friends are there to help me understand things -from acads to org life and to life in general - and even understand people like.. haha. peace! =)
to all my friends, no THANK YOU is more than enough. =) Godbless!
Aja! =P
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