Now:)

i know that like most girls, i am someone who dreams that the man that we are in a relationship with will be the "one". i am one of those who like to make plans together, and try to pursue these dreams. until my first real heartbreak. 

i suddenly believed that planning about the future, that dreaming together will only give us false hopes, will lead to broken promises and a broken heart that i started to try not looking forward too much on a life with the person that i want.

unfortunately, i never really stick that much to the decisions that i make. and so, i still believed too much, that i again was left heartbroken and with many unfulfilled promises. 

a now good friend and i had a conversation about this. he keeps on insisting that people who are in relationships should dream of a future together, to have a sort of inspiration to be together until they realize these dreams. I, however, told him that i do not believe in that, although i was not very sure myself then. 

but now, i really realize that dreaming of a future together, even though that would really be such a quite romantic thing to do, is not really needed in a relationship. in fact, i also no longer believe now that you need to be in a relationship to be able to love and be loved. 

i now believe that you don't need to have a vision of a future together to be happy now or to love each other now. even though sometimes, commitment and love goes hand in hand, i don't think being in a committed relationship should be a prerequisite or a result of love. labels are not that important after all. it's the feelings that matter most:) 

if you live everyday thinking that all you have is today, that things maybe different tomorrow, that your situation may not be the same as today, you'd be able to love fully. you won't take any moment that you can spend with them for granted. and the happiness that you feel everyday because you know that you have loved them for that day as much as you can is overflowing:D

if tomorrow comes and everything is different, at least you were able to let them feel that you love them that much. and for me, that would be more than enough:) 

if i had known of this kind of happiness that is brought about by the kind of mindset that i have right now, i would have been happier for a longer time. but i can't change the past. and i'd rather not look that much into future. of course there's still hope, but i believe that now is definitely more important:))))