This past two weeks, Ive been having a different kind of learning experience :)
Being in the infectious diseases module last last week and the oncology module this past week, some of the many things i most learned about is HIV and of course cancer.
But what made the past two weeks and the learning more special is being able to put a face in some of the diseases being taught to us.
During our HIV workshop, we met B, a 22 year old who was diagnosed with HIV a few months back. He shared his experience in front of our class, recalling the different stages of DABDA (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance); and now living positively with HIV, trying to make a difference by sharing his story and making people aware. And he did make a difference, if not to all my classmates there, then at least to me. I admired his courage and i was definitely touched by his story.
Then, just this week, our group examined, P who was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma. Being more hands on with P, I cant help myself but be attached. He was such a happy kid, a typical makulit 10 year old who regards everything as play. He knows so much of his illness, even knowing that he already has maliliit na bukol sa ulo. He has stage 4 Ca with brain metastasis, further lowering his prognosis. And with the difficulty brought about by their financial constraints, i cant help but just really be sad.
For both occasions, i was teary eyed giving me the heartache i get from a sad movie or a book; i was teary eyed when i thought i had numbed myself from the drama of a poor prognosis. You see, being a cry baby and being a medical student is not a good combination. You wouldnt want a doctor who would break down when revealing a sad news. Being a doctor would require you to actually be strong for your patient. Show empathy, yes, but be strong; Much like a friend who you can rely on when everything starts to fall apart and not someone who would fall first even before you. That i thought my strategy of giving myself enough distance from the feelings and regarding an illness solely on its technicalities would stop me from crying over a sad course of a disease.
But because i was focusing my energies so much on learning the facts, i actually forgot that behind these diseases are actually people who are suffering from the illnesses. People who represent more than just numbers. Treating a case not just a case but as individual patients is something being taught to us ever since, only now did i realize the importance of giving a face to a disease. I know that over the course of this whole medschool journey, a lot of things would still change, but I do hope that I would not forget this learning.
B and P definitely made an impact to me, that I am blogging about them now. And that the next time I'd be reading about HIV or rhabdomyosarcoma, I'd remember them, not just their history or physical examination results, but that humbling feeling when I shook B's hand and P's sheepish smile and light nod when I told him tapangan mo a. Most of all, their positive outlook and their will to continue going on with life has definitely inspired me and has reminded me once again of why I want to be in this profession.
I wish i was able to document all the patients Ive seen since first year. I guess it is never too late to start:)
Being in the infectious diseases module last last week and the oncology module this past week, some of the many things i most learned about is HIV and of course cancer.
But what made the past two weeks and the learning more special is being able to put a face in some of the diseases being taught to us.
During our HIV workshop, we met B, a 22 year old who was diagnosed with HIV a few months back. He shared his experience in front of our class, recalling the different stages of DABDA (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance); and now living positively with HIV, trying to make a difference by sharing his story and making people aware. And he did make a difference, if not to all my classmates there, then at least to me. I admired his courage and i was definitely touched by his story.
Then, just this week, our group examined, P who was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma. Being more hands on with P, I cant help myself but be attached. He was such a happy kid, a typical makulit 10 year old who regards everything as play. He knows so much of his illness, even knowing that he already has maliliit na bukol sa ulo. He has stage 4 Ca with brain metastasis, further lowering his prognosis. And with the difficulty brought about by their financial constraints, i cant help but just really be sad.
For both occasions, i was teary eyed giving me the heartache i get from a sad movie or a book; i was teary eyed when i thought i had numbed myself from the drama of a poor prognosis. You see, being a cry baby and being a medical student is not a good combination. You wouldnt want a doctor who would break down when revealing a sad news. Being a doctor would require you to actually be strong for your patient. Show empathy, yes, but be strong; Much like a friend who you can rely on when everything starts to fall apart and not someone who would fall first even before you. That i thought my strategy of giving myself enough distance from the feelings and regarding an illness solely on its technicalities would stop me from crying over a sad course of a disease.
But because i was focusing my energies so much on learning the facts, i actually forgot that behind these diseases are actually people who are suffering from the illnesses. People who represent more than just numbers. Treating a case not just a case but as individual patients is something being taught to us ever since, only now did i realize the importance of giving a face to a disease. I know that over the course of this whole medschool journey, a lot of things would still change, but I do hope that I would not forget this learning.
B and P definitely made an impact to me, that I am blogging about them now. And that the next time I'd be reading about HIV or rhabdomyosarcoma, I'd remember them, not just their history or physical examination results, but that humbling feeling when I shook B's hand and P's sheepish smile and light nod when I told him tapangan mo a. Most of all, their positive outlook and their will to continue going on with life has definitely inspired me and has reminded me once again of why I want to be in this profession.
I wish i was able to document all the patients Ive seen since first year. I guess it is never too late to start:)
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