Skip to main content

on love.

It's been a while since I last wrote something about the title. Well, maybe because I was too happy to care and whenever I start typing words to express how much love is making me happy, the entry will sound too cheesy for me.

Tonight and the past week has been different. Either I am back to my expecting self that I started to get hurt because my expectations were not met or I am just plainly taken for granted. which is both sad. and which is why I have to warn whoever you are,  that this will be quite a sad and bitter entry. Maybe even too bitter for me, but.. I really want to write.

What to do when the person you love who tells you that he loves you too doesn't do anything to make you feel special on your special day.  Birthdays are always special for me. It's the only day I don't feel guilty when I make myself feel special and when I am allowed to think that I actually matter. And I definitely appreciate people who actually try to make it more special. This past birthday, my family and my friends were able to pull off something to make me happy. But something was missing because I was missing someone.

Sadly, that someone was too weak or too afraid to actually do something for me Again, either I was too expecting or I was just taken for granted. If this was any regular week, I would have let it pass. I wouldn't even give it a thought. but it was my birthday week. *sigh*

Relationship wise, I've changed a lot. I no longer demand often, sometimes even to the point when I start to think if I actually improved in dealing with relationships or I just no longer know my worth.  

Sometimes I don't mind. but times like these make me really think and actually start asking questions.

What to think? What to feel? What to do?

CEA ang drama.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

and things will start to change..

to start it all: my hair! haha. it's short now. like kindergarten short. haha. i like it. and i wanted to have my hair cut since summer, but because of grad pictorials, i need to postpone it. and grad pictorials are done - and i don't want to postpone it any longer. haha. so i had my hair cut yesterday afternoon after watching the Agnes of God play with my brother. (i have no decent pictures yet so you need to see me personally if you want to see it. i feel weird. i think it looks weird. haha.) and so everything follows. *** change is something inevitable. a natural phenomenon that would definitely happen in one way or another. we can't stop it (i think) but we can postpone it and i think i've postponed "that" inevitable change for too long now, and I have no other choice but to let it happen. i've already felt the urge to remove that something from my system at the start of the sem (as the change im talking about). well, i knew i need to deal wi...
15 comments
Read more

thesis encounters :P

because i plan to ban my laptop tomorrow for the whole day since i need to study for chem125 and socsci3. kelangan ko ng magsulat at magupdate ngayon ng blog. haha. i would just like to share some of our (my thesismates and my) encounters with our so adorable thesis adviser, sir sumera :P note: thesis is much more fun because of sir sumera. hahaha. :P ON NAMES last semester sir: ano nga pangalan niyo? anne: anne po sir. sir: tas ikaw mr. guerrero (pertaining to og) og: OG po. kate: kathleen po sir. and everytime na nagkikita kami last year, ganyan ang set up. January 2009 sir: ano nga pangalan mo? angel? anne: anne po sir. sir: ah anne, e sino si angel? anne: (sino nga kaya sir? hehe) last week sir: ano nga pangalan mo? anna o crystal? anne: anne po sir. sir: ah anne. dumating si kate sir: ikaw crystal? kate: sir kathleen. sir: ah kathleen ka din? kate: (sino pa po ung isa sir?) :P ON SULFURIC ACID when talking about the prosposal...
21 comments
Read more

a sad day.

i was a messenger last tuesday for my mom. she asked me to whisper a message to my tita. and just this afternoon, while i was in the lab for thesis, my mother texted me that tita lita is gone. it was quite expected, since this has been her third time in the past 3 months to be hospitalized. her third time that transfusion is needed. and of the three times, maybe this was the worst. *** she has given a lot to others. to her parents, her siblings and to us, her nephews and nieces. i was able to live with her for three years during high school and i have a lot of things to thank her for. I'm not that sure if she knows how grateful i am that i was able to stay with her during those times. looking back i would not have chosen any other place to stay for high school apart from hers. no matter how far paranaque may be in manila. i would never forget the mornings where she would wake up early too since i need to be at school early and she would stay late in pnu since our classe...
19 comments
Read more