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August feels.

Losing patients never get easy. 

Being a doctor for 5 years, we are being continuously trained to hone our "clinical eye" - know when a patient does not look good, when a patient is "critically stable" or when we see hope for recovery. Every day, we get to see patients who sometimes almost touch the face of death just to be pulled out by a thread - only for a few moments to give time for their loved ones to say good bye.  
--August 31, 2020

**

I was about to write about things that make me happy these days (wedding planning! akalain mo yun - happy because I feel like everything is falling into place and Robert is almost always saying yes to whatever I want, within reasonable limits of course :p) 

Then I came across these unfinished words - I apparently haven't had the chance to finish (writing down) my feelings last August. I remember it to be quite a difficult time, patients who have been very dear to me kept dying left and right, some because of COVID-19, which makes us more helpless. Of course, tears have been shed - making it more difficult to breathe while on respirators and well blinding my face shield with moisture.

These feelings need closure (hehe). Those moments, as sad as they may seem, need to be remembered because it's where we (I) get strength to continue doing what I am continuously learning and loving to do - to cure sometimes, to relieve often and to comfort always.

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