AnneC.

It's been two months of Nephrology fellowship and it is more than what I expected it to be. Yes it was tiring - the every 3 day duty cycle was exhausting, going home late almost everyday just to sleep and wake up the next day still tired was a usual feeling during residency that I get to experience again (multiply the fatigue two to threefold - or probably because, I'm getting old too haha). But I am happy. I get kilig with all the new information (and books I still have to read - geek) and the learning everyday, understanding the management for each patient individually, continuously honing the clinical eye and basically training to be one of the good ones. The past two months have shown me that well, this is what I want to be doing the rest of my life. They say only a few people are blessed to be able to do what they love, and I think as early as now I can say that I am fortunate enough to be looking forward to a future of me doing what I love. I remember at the start last ...

It's probably the daydreaming caused by adulting kicking in, but there are moments when I get life realizations by asking myself a question. This particular daydreaming started with me asking why -- why do people do what they do and ultimately followed by what drives people to do the things they do? Everyone have their own sets of values and qualities that make up their personality. Each personality is also affected by their environment - how one was raised by one's parents or by his experiences growing up. Some may say that genetics has a role, while others use their faith and beliefs in making decisions about doing something or not. On the other end of the spectrum, there are also those who decide and who do things based on fear. Fear.  I am afraid of a lot of creepy things - creepy crawling or flying insects, I easily get startled with movement on the shadows even if it was my own, horror movies make my heart skip a beat.  These fears are superficial and I think...

The past few months have been for a lack of a better word, challenging, as a new internist and as a daughter. My father got sick that basically we were always in the hospital for follow up check ups, admissions and procedures of sorts. (He is well and okay now on the road to full recovery, thank you everyone for your prayers 🙏) All these happening while reviewing for the diplomate exam and applying for fellowship. The past few months have challenged me as a daughter - you see, I was never the malambing and sweet daddy's girl. I was raised to be independent and strong, and that favor is being given when you are among the best. That I guess I lacked the charisma and pleasantness that my not so little brother has. I dont like stubborn people and well my dad is a quite hardheaded patient (the genes on wanting things done our way is probably strong in our blood 😅) lalo doktor pa. He always wanted a little bit of lambing and that has always been an issue whenever I talk to t...

Residency is truly over - this is what goes on my mind as I wake up today not to prepare to go to the hospital but to go on a 5 day claiming to be stress free vacation with my batchmates.  Looking back, three years seemed fast. I remember finishing internship and saying to myself that I need more training (I was really scared) before facing the real world as a physician. I remember the heartache of not getting into my dream residency program. And eventually understanding God’s plans year after year after year in the institution where He placed me to learn and mature as a physician.  And now it is doooone. Hooray for 1095 days of literal blood, sweat (not much really, hello airconditioning!) and tears (buckets and loads and loads). Of frustrations, disappointments, understanding and patience. Of trying to cure sometimes, giving relief often, but really the joy of providing comfort to patients always. Of love and constants and friendships and batchlove. Of toxicity and ...

It seems not so long ago when I was just writing about having my heart broken for not getting into my initial hospital of choice, finding a new home for my dreams, hardships of first year residency and cultivating the dream come second year. Now, I can’t help but feel giddy for I am into the last 2 months of residency. Surely, time flies.   Of course there is still a lot to go through before reaching my nth finish line, but this entry is not about  that. This is about something I’ve been reflecting on for a while now and with the upcoming ICU rotation, this might be the only time that I can write about it. Plus a good reminder for myself that I can come back to once in a while.  To be good is enough. People get preoccupied with trying to be the best. Competing with others in this day and age can get extreme at times that sometimes people look into others faults just so they can feel good about themselves, just so they can say that they are better. And a lot of ...

"I'm tired and it's probably my fault." "Why do you say that?" "Maybe I'm taking more than I can chew." "Is that even your responsibility?" "Some are, some are not." "Then why do you do things that are not your responsibility?" "Because no one else will." "And you wonder why you are tired." This has been a recurrent conversation in my head for the past week or so. Third year of residency training has been taking a toll on me and today, as I was telling this to the boyfriend, he gave me two great pieces of advice that I know I ought to write about.  "There was a man and a balut vendor. Everyday the man will buy balut from the vendor but will not get the balut ; in a sense, the man was just giving the vendor 20 pesos every night. He did it for two years and then one night, as the man was giving the vendor 20 pesos,  the balut vendor replied, "30 pesos na po....

“Someday, you will meet someone who will reintroduce you to yourself”  We used to and still kid one of my friends on this saying that perhaps she was in love to this “someone”, and she would often say “no”, however the no would usually contradict the sparkle you see in her eyes. Up to this day, she has never labeled her “someone” as someone she is romantically attracted to - instead our conversations and prodding would end to the “someone” being someone she considers to be special. And I think now I know what she meant.  x In life, we meet people we get to know and in the process of knowing them you get to know yourself again.  Living the same routine everyday gets boring, and more often, we can get lost into the rhythm - waking up, going to work, doing what you have to do, going home, sleeping. We forget what it’s like how to live, how to appreciate the things and people around us. Then someone comes and asks you about your past, your present and yo...