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one of those days I wish I am a kid

Seeing babies for the past two months made me realize how it was really easy when we were younger. Babies and kids are so care free - they smile when they are happy and they cry when they are sad or hungry, in pain or irritated. They throw tantrums when they don't (or until they) get what they want.

Being an intern in pediatrics, I realize how tiring it is to be an adult. You are expected to understand, you are expected to be patient, you are expected a lot, cause you are a grown up. And it gets more tiring when the other adult people around are not being adults and are in a sense acting like kids. And well, I cannot blame them as sulking in one corner and crying until they give me what I want is so tempting to do and is actually the easy way out.

It's funny (actually more frustrating) how the world works. 

Every single time, I see parents teach their kids how it is wrong to hurt other people - a kids hits another kid and the knee jerk reaction is "That's bad.". Even before the first year of life, we are taught to love (and we all get 'awwww' whenever a baby would be asked to 'love' you and they hug you or kiss you.). We were taught to say sorry (and eventually learned to mean it as we grow up). We were never taught to hurt. Never taught to hate. At least I was not. 

(and the frustrating part comes here). When we step out into the world as adults, you see people hurting other people. You see love not for people but for things, for money, for fortune. You see no forgiveness but pride. And it does not make any sense. 

Like any other grown up, I hurt, I hate, I fail to forgive and fail to ask forgiveness and at times I am proud. Not to mention I can really really be immature. But every day I try to remember what was taught to me and what I learned. I try to fill my heart with love for the people around me in spite of all the raging hormones screaming to hate since it's easier. Everyday I try to do the mature way of handling problems and the day to day life.

But then it gets really really challenging and you get tired. And it is so easy and tempting to stop. 


As I was having this drama/emotional/why is the world like this moment, I remembered my favorite catch during my nursery rotation. The pictures of this adorable little fellow made me realize how we were all born as beautiful angels. And somehow, that beautiful angel is inside each and every person and that we should never ever lose faith, in humanity, in mankind, in the world, in ourselves, in Him. And this faith should be enough to go on and continue to be a responsible, understanding, patient person.  

*hingang malalim* Gusto ko pa ring magtantrums. But since I cant go back to being a kid, I go for the next best thing - chocolates. 

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