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At all times, be kind.

It has been a month since senior year in my training to become an internist started. And the past month has been difficult. In this training, we have been used to being blamed, even for things that we don't have control over, and well the past month has been exactly that plus more.

As seniors, we have the responsibility to make sure that our juniors are able to do their jobs and that in 6 months or less they should have learned everything they need to know in the system that they are in. We have to make them understand that there is no right excuse, because there is really no place for excuses when lives of patients are on the line. We have to teach them and yet we have to learn things for ourselves as well, because a lot more is expected from us.

And since day 1, it has never been a walk in the park.

It's like first year all over again (with no tears yet for me!). The feeling of being from duty, the sense of impending doom when you are on duty and the joy of going home early during pre-duty days. You wake up everyday thinking of the right amount of expectations for a 1 month old resident, hoping that you don't do the things that were done to you as a then first year trainee that you hated - and go home tired physically, emotionally and mentally. On repeat. Of course, this includes unreasonable demands, irritating excuses, unmet expectations, dealing with people who forgot where they came from and a lot of sigh in between.

Not many days, I get to reflect on things, but today I am reminded of this saying -

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

Being kind at all times is a difficult feat, even I haven't mastered. To choose kindness everyday is really putting in extra effort since this world has given us all the reasons to be the opposite of everything good. But I try. Not choosing good is really the easy way, but with kindness, comes patience - patience to teach; patience with people who are impatient. With patience, we understand more - we understand where people are coming from, why they do things, why they say things. You might not like it, but you always have to understand. (My boyfriend's ultimate line whenever I throw tantrums. haha)

A lot of people these days are too quick in passing judgement, so quick in pointing out others' faults but too slow to reflect and know their own shortcomings. It's too easy to criticize. And we tend to forget that not because you don't agree on something, makes you right.

It's funny how He nudges me whenever I forget the basic yet most important values in life, especially with everything happening around. It's like Him saying: Anne, masyado ka ng yamot. Hinga muna. 

There's still a long way to go. We just have to find a reason to continue doing our best everyday. We just have to include Him in our everyday reasons, always. For with Him, everything will fall into place.

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