AnneC.

In such a fast paced life despite a traffic filled world there are only a few moments of stillness we get to enjoy best Moments when we don't think of what we did what we should have done or what we need to do When we get to listen to our own breathing feel our own heart beating and just be grateful for our life unfolding minute by minute, every second of every day That flicker in time free from worries from responsibilities and demands of the world These moments we steal, a few seconds before we sleep as we move from one destination to another or as we let our minds wander (A little bit too many for the day) These rare moments of peace from the chaos outside from our hurdles within It is in these moments when we truly live

There are days when walls are down and my hypersensitive tear ducts fail me as I shed some tears while saying goodbye to a patient. Sending out prayers to the heavens as we said goodbye to a father of two kids who now will be growing up without a dad, whose last words to his wife where " Alis na ako. Love you. " as he made his way to the hospital for treatment; to a mother who perhaps wouldn't want for her daughter to see her go that her heart stopped beating when her daughter who was always there by her side was not with her; To a daughter whose father would have never imagined that he would be burying his own child. Death is a usual part of our every day as doctors and being that normal, it is easy to forget that they are someone's kids or someone's parents and not just some bed number or room number or a case. I believe that one should put one's heart in the practice of becoming a physician but days like yesterday, can be overwhelmingly exhaus...

It's been two months of Nephrology fellowship and it is more than what I expected it to be. Yes it was tiring - the every 3 day duty cycle was exhausting, going home late almost everyday just to sleep and wake up the next day still tired was a usual feeling during residency that I get to experience again (multiply the fatigue two to threefold - or probably because, I'm getting old too haha). But I am happy. I get kilig with all the new information (and books I still have to read - geek) and the learning everyday, understanding the management for each patient individually, continuously honing the clinical eye and basically training to be one of the good ones. The past two months have shown me that well, this is what I want to be doing the rest of my life. They say only a few people are blessed to be able to do what they love, and I think as early as now I can say that I am fortunate enough to be looking forward to a future of me doing what I love. I remember at the start last ...

It's probably the daydreaming caused by adulting kicking in, but there are moments when I get life realizations by asking myself a question. This particular daydreaming started with me asking why -- why do people do what they do and ultimately followed by what drives people to do the things they do? Everyone have their own sets of values and qualities that make up their personality. Each personality is also affected by their environment - how one was raised by one's parents or by his experiences growing up. Some may say that genetics has a role, while others use their faith and beliefs in making decisions about doing something or not. On the other end of the spectrum, there are also those who decide and who do things based on fear. Fear.  I am afraid of a lot of creepy things - creepy crawling or flying insects, I easily get startled with movement on the shadows even if it was my own, horror movies make my heart skip a beat.  These fears are superficial and I think...

The past few months have been for a lack of a better word, challenging, as a new internist and as a daughter. My father got sick that basically we were always in the hospital for follow up check ups, admissions and procedures of sorts. (He is well and okay now on the road to full recovery, thank you everyone for your prayers 🙏) All these happening while reviewing for the diplomate exam and applying for fellowship. The past few months have challenged me as a daughter - you see, I was never the malambing and sweet daddy's girl. I was raised to be independent and strong, and that favor is being given when you are among the best. That I guess I lacked the charisma and pleasantness that my not so little brother has. I dont like stubborn people and well my dad is a quite hardheaded patient (the genes on wanting things done our way is probably strong in our blood 😅) lalo doktor pa. He always wanted a little bit of lambing and that has always been an issue whenever I talk to t...

Residency is truly over - this is what goes on my mind as I wake up today not to prepare to go to the hospital but to go on a 5 day claiming to be stress free vacation with my batchmates.  Looking back, three years seemed fast. I remember finishing internship and saying to myself that I need more training (I was really scared) before facing the real world as a physician. I remember the heartache of not getting into my dream residency program. And eventually understanding God’s plans year after year after year in the institution where He placed me to learn and mature as a physician.  And now it is doooone. Hooray for 1095 days of literal blood, sweat (not much really, hello airconditioning!) and tears (buckets and loads and loads). Of frustrations, disappointments, understanding and patience. Of trying to cure sometimes, giving relief often, but really the joy of providing comfort to patients always. Of love and constants and friendships and batchlove. Of toxicity and ...