AnneC.

“Someday, you will meet someone who will reintroduce you to yourself”  We used to and still kid one of my friends on this saying that perhaps she was in love to this “someone”, and she would often say “no”, however the no would usually contradict the sparkle you see in her eyes. Up to this day, she has never labeled her “someone” as someone she is romantically attracted to - instead our conversations and prodding would end to the “someone” being someone she considers to be special. And I think now I know what she meant.  x In life, we meet people we get to know and in the process of knowing them you get to know yourself again.  Living the same routine everyday gets boring, and more often, we can get lost into the rhythm - waking up, going to work, doing what you have to do, going home, sleeping. We forget what it’s like how to live, how to appreciate the things and people around us. Then someone comes and asks you about your past, your present and yo...

"I understand, but it doesn't mean I like it." The boyfriend will always tell me this whenever I become too irrational to handle (happened a lot before, and hopefully less now :p). This statement would always make me feel uncomfortable, shuts me up and makes me think - eventually making me realize that how I've been acting is already too much. And sometimes, when people around me become too much or when a situation becomes too much, I often say this to myself  - "It's okay, you can understand this, but you don't have to like it." And amazingly, it often calms my nerves. There comes a point in life when you no longer like what you are doing, who you are dealing with and where you are. And there are always two ways to go from those certain points - to stop and leave everything, or stand your ground and continue doing what you do. To stop is a very easy option and we can always argue how we should always choose something that will make us happy ...

My blank mind wants me to write, but i have nothing in mind to write about. So let's try some word vomit to help me soothe this itch to write, shall we? Okay - I think, is an overused term as people generally desire acceptance. It is one word that gives someone a piece of approval from others or even for oneself. Saying that your work is okay - satisfactory and has passed standards has some fulfillment in a way. Saying to yourself that you are okay, makes you feel okay even for a while. Sometimes you have to repeat it to yourself a million times to try and believe that it's true. But being okay for the past month or so made me realize, that it's okay to not be okay. Because not being okay means -- To disagree and stand for what you believe is right. To be vulnerable. To be simply not okay. Or you could look at it as -- To exceed being satisfactory. Or even to say that you are exceptional. But I think the last two are too positive for the general mood of this entry. hehe...

It has been a month since senior year in my training to become an internist started. And the past month has been difficult. In this training, we have been used to being blamed, even for things that we don't have control over, and well the past month has been exactly that plus more. As seniors, we have the responsibility to make sure that our juniors are able to do their jobs and that in 6 months or less they should have learned everything they need to know in the system that they are in. We have to make them understand that there is no right excuse, because there is really no place for excuses when lives of patients are on the line. We have to teach them and yet we have to learn things for ourselves as well, because a lot more is expected from us. And since day 1, it has never been a walk in the park. It's like first year all over again (with no tears yet for me!). The feeling of being from duty, the sense of impending doom when you are on duty and the joy of going home e...

I saw this today in our institution and this is definitely one of the posters that I am very pleased to share and actually write about. Yesterday, I saw a patient's relative taking a video of my consultant and myself's interaction with a patient, of course without our permission. I asked her politely about it and I told her that is very disrespectful. Since it was taken without our consent, it must be deleted. I explained to her the concept of privacy and that how she did and what she did is wrong. I don't think she was actually sorry, but I watched her as she deleted the file. There was nothing wrong with our interaction with her patient, and she was saying that it was for their relatives abroad. BUT it is still not the right way to do it. There have been a surge of doctor shaming in social media. Often, doctors are always taken out of context. Social media has become a very powerful and dangerous tool being used by a lot of people to spread negativity or to destro...

A good friend told me that I was more mean the past 2 weeks. I can give reasons on why I was stressed out and well, being really difficult. I've been wanting to write, actually.  Since I have tried eating and sleeping to try to lift my mood, but failing miserably. And I know that the next step is to try and transform my negative thoughts into positive reflections. Unfortunately, no inspiration or drive u ntil today, when I was reminded that it was all about choices.  From the most simple decisions...  - Choosing sleep (over anything really)   - But choosing to wake up and work everyday - Choosing to eat your first and probably last meal of the day before starting rounds. - Choosing to not study (haha)   - Choosing not to read spoilers on the latest GOT - Choosing to act out because you didnt get what you want instead of not acting out  ... To life changing ones - Choosing your battles (wisely; if i may add) - Choosing how to act or...

I realized since last year that my favorite time during duty is early morning at around 2 to 4 am. Probably it's because as a first year medical resident on duty a year ago, those wee hours in the morning are the hours when I get to finish my backlogs, when I get to do the final chart rounds prior to endorsement, when I can start to calm my nerves and let out a big sigh of relief for the final duty hours (which are hopefully and mostly benign), when we are able to snag a few nap hours if we are lucky prior to starting the from duty day. Earlier this morning, as I was about to do my chart rounds prior to endorsement, I realized that one thing I greatly appreciate during these hours is the silence. For in a world where everything has been said, where everyone wants to be heard - we are only given a few moments of quiet time to enjoy. It's ironic how much I enjoy silence and become a physician who deals with people on an everyday basis. Some of my colleagues make funny comment...