Life Lesson #46: I don't think I can

is such a negative expression. it means giving up without even trying, without giving some more. and this is what I feel right now. I don't think I can finish doing this life lessons blog entry. and I am hating myself for it. that i am trying to play my own mind games to make myself realize that I must continue doing this and that I actually really wanted this.

It's been almost two weeks since my last entry, and yes, it has been a toxic 10 days. toxic 10 days full of learning but I can't make myself write those life lessons and actually share them. *what is happening with me* </3

but yes yes, i shall try some more.

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The Preparation.

How do you put 100 days of preparation, 4 days of examination and 3 days of waiting in one blog entry? You can’t. Haha. So I’m making this a 3 part entry. That very long hiatus from writing and this heart full of emotions had led me craving to write my heart out. So indulge me. I don’t think I would be able to encapsulate all the emotions in that one of a kind journey which led me to where I am today. But I would still try because having that experience is something that I would love to look back to (definitely not do again) but something that I would like to read about when I feel like strolling down my memory lane. It started the day after the review center (Topnotch medical board prep) orientation where we were welcomed with a wake-up call, the board examination is about three months away - 106 days to be exact. Will it be enough? Probably. And then came the diagnostic exams where in there was really the doubt of whether it will be enough. Parang hindi . But it was...

May cool-off rin pala sa mag-asawa

May cool-off rin pala sa mag-asawa. Akala ko ang cool off ay para lang sa mga malalabong relasyon ng mag boyfriend o mag- girlfriend (para gender sensitive tayo), magkarelasyon na nasa it's complicated status o ang mapagkunwaring, 'mag bestfriend lang kami' pero ang totoo ay nagaaway lagi na parang sila kaya kelangan nila mag -cool off mula sa pagiging mag best friend . Karaniwan natin maririnig sa marami sa mga magulang natin o sa mga tito at tita, ninong at ninang na ang pagpapakasal ay hindi parang kanin (o sabaw ba?) na isusubo bigla at kapag napaso ay iluluwa. Kelangan siyang pag-isipan ng mabuti at gawin lamang kung nasa tamang edad, pag-iisip, tamang panahon at tamang katayuan sa buhay i.e kelangan ay handa ka sa pisikal, emosyonal, mental at pinasyal na aspeto ng pagpapakasal. Madalas kong natatanong sa sarili ko kung ang mga lolo't lola ba natin ay hind nagkulang sa pag-papaalala nito sa mga magulang natin. Minsan naman naiisip ko kung tunay na naiin...

Life Lesson #50: of secrets and lies

I woke up hearing a story, of how everything would end. Of trust issues, and lies and secrets getting piled up to destroy something special, something sacred, something we thought was worth fighting for. Why hurt each other when you vowed to love each other eternally? It says that with love comes pain but when do you say that you've suffered enough? When do you draw the line of loving and letting go? Love. Prayer. Hope. That's all left to do when everything starts falling apart. Continue loving cause in love we may find forgiveness, pray cause in Him we'll never be wrong and hope that there will always be a better future ahead.

AnneC.

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