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on love.

It's been a while since I last wrote something about the title. Well, maybe because I was too happy to care and whenever I start typing words to express how much love is making me happy, the entry will sound too cheesy for me.

Tonight and the past week has been different. Either I am back to my expecting self that I started to get hurt because my expectations were not met or I am just plainly taken for granted. which is both sad. and which is why I have to warn whoever you are,  that this will be quite a sad and bitter entry. Maybe even too bitter for me, but.. I really want to write.

What to do when the person you love who tells you that he loves you too doesn't do anything to make you feel special on your special day.  Birthdays are always special for me. It's the only day I don't feel guilty when I make myself feel special and when I am allowed to think that I actually matter. And I definitely appreciate people who actually try to make it more special. This past birthday, my family and my friends were able to pull off something to make me happy. But something was missing because I was missing someone.

Sadly, that someone was too weak or too afraid to actually do something for me Again, either I was too expecting or I was just taken for granted. If this was any regular week, I would have let it pass. I wouldn't even give it a thought. but it was my birthday week. *sigh*

Relationship wise, I've changed a lot. I no longer demand often, sometimes even to the point when I start to think if I actually improved in dealing with relationships or I just no longer know my worth.  

Sometimes I don't mind. but times like these make me really think and actually start asking questions.

What to think? What to feel? What to do?

CEA ang drama.


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