It was not my first love. Never in my wildest dreams have I thought of choosing that specialty in my first three years of medical school.
But two years ago, it started with me crying inside the clerks call room. I was a post duty clerk on preduty monitoring schedule with one intubated patient in shock that I cannot get a decent blood sample from. Followed by the fear of morning endorsements and the adrenaline after being called for a first time full endorsement on a temporary in-charge (TIC) patient. Day by day, I found a reason to go back and do my duties. Day by day I slowly found myself falling in love with what I was doing. And at that moment, I know this is what I want.
A year after that, I know I found my true love. In spite of standing up again and again to answer questions on my toxic patients, in spite of having to admit 20++ patients during my junior admitting physician duty, i know in my heart, this is it. And I know that it is true love because it is not only what my heart desires but it is also the kind of practice that our province needs.
In love you learn to dream, but in the process of achieving those dreams, you sometimes also need to learn to let go.
It would be an ideal world to enrich that love, to fulfill that dream in a place you have learned to love, with people you know. But this is the real world. And He has greater plans.
It is probably His way of telling me that it's time to leave my comfort zone. For years, that is what He has been doing to get me to where I am today. I wouldn't be able to go to MaSci if I stayed in the province with my family. I wouldn't be a licensed chemist if I did not brave that four year chemistry course. And I wouldn't be a licensed physician if I did not decide to pursue medicine in spite of already earning money. At the end of it all, it is always His will.
And this time, He asks me to let go of the institution which has trained me well.
Today gave me another reason to believe that this is love. Cause in love, you get hurt, but at the end of the day you fight for it, mahal mo e.
So here's to love, letting go but keeping the dream alive :)
But two years ago, it started with me crying inside the clerks call room. I was a post duty clerk on preduty monitoring schedule with one intubated patient in shock that I cannot get a decent blood sample from. Followed by the fear of morning endorsements and the adrenaline after being called for a first time full endorsement on a temporary in-charge (TIC) patient. Day by day, I found a reason to go back and do my duties. Day by day I slowly found myself falling in love with what I was doing. And at that moment, I know this is what I want.
A year after that, I know I found my true love. In spite of standing up again and again to answer questions on my toxic patients, in spite of having to admit 20++ patients during my junior admitting physician duty, i know in my heart, this is it. And I know that it is true love because it is not only what my heart desires but it is also the kind of practice that our province needs.
In love you learn to dream, but in the process of achieving those dreams, you sometimes also need to learn to let go.
It would be an ideal world to enrich that love, to fulfill that dream in a place you have learned to love, with people you know. But this is the real world. And He has greater plans.
It is probably His way of telling me that it's time to leave my comfort zone. For years, that is what He has been doing to get me to where I am today. I wouldn't be able to go to MaSci if I stayed in the province with my family. I wouldn't be a licensed chemist if I did not brave that four year chemistry course. And I wouldn't be a licensed physician if I did not decide to pursue medicine in spite of already earning money. At the end of it all, it is always His will.
And this time, He asks me to let go of the institution which has trained me well.
Today gave me another reason to believe that this is love. Cause in love, you get hurt, but at the end of the day you fight for it, mahal mo e.
So here's to love, letting go but keeping the dream alive :)
Ayaw mo bang maging batchmates next year? :D
ReplyDeleteHahaha grecooooo. Pinagdadasal ko pa. Haha.
ReplyDelete