Skip to main content

Of Love, Letting Go but Keeping the Dream Alive

It was not my first love. Never in my wildest dreams have I thought of choosing that specialty in my first three years of medical school.

But two years ago, it started with me crying inside the clerks call room. I was a post duty clerk on preduty monitoring schedule with one intubated patient in shock that I cannot get a decent blood sample from. Followed by the fear of morning endorsements and the adrenaline after being called for a first time full endorsement on a temporary in-charge (TIC) patient. Day by day, I found a reason to go back and do my duties. Day by day I slowly found myself falling in love with what I was doing. And at that moment, I know this is what I want.

A year after that, I know I found my true love. In spite of standing up again and again to answer questions on my toxic patients, in spite of having to admit 20++ patients during my junior admitting physician duty, i know in my heart, this is it. And I know that it is true love because it is not only what my heart desires but it is also the kind of practice that our province needs.

In love you learn to dream, but in the process of achieving those dreams, you sometimes also need to learn to let go.

It would be an ideal world to enrich that love, to fulfill that dream in a place you have learned to love, with people you know. But this is the real world. And He has greater plans.

It is probably His way of telling me that it's time to leave my comfort zone. For years, that is what He has been doing to get me to where I am today. I wouldn't be able to go to MaSci if I stayed in the province with my family. I wouldn't be a licensed chemist if I did not brave that four year chemistry course. And I wouldn't be a licensed physician if I did not decide to pursue medicine in spite of already earning money. At the end of it all, it is always His will.

And this time, He asks me to let go of the institution which has trained me well.

Today gave me another reason to believe that this is love. Cause in love, you get hurt, but at the end of the day you fight for it, mahal mo e.

So here's to love, letting go but keeping the dream alive :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Preparation.

How do you put 100 days of preparation, 4 days of examination and 3 days of waiting in one blog entry? You can’t. Haha. So I’m making this a 3 part entry. That very long hiatus from writing and this heart full of emotions had led me craving to write my heart out. So indulge me. I don’t think I would be able to encapsulate all the emotions in that one of a kind journey which led me to where I am today. But I would still try because having that experience is something that I would love to look back to (definitely not do again) but something that I would like to read about when I feel like strolling down my memory lane. It started the day after the review center (Topnotch medical board prep) orientation where we were welcomed with a wake-up call, the board examination is about three months away - 106 days to be exact. Will it be enough? Probably. And then came the diagnostic exams where in there was really the doubt of whether it will be enough.  Parang hindi . But it was...
Post a Comment
Read more

May cool-off rin pala sa mag-asawa

May cool-off rin pala sa mag-asawa. Akala ko ang cool off ay para lang sa mga malalabong relasyon ng mag boyfriend o mag- girlfriend (para gender sensitive tayo), magkarelasyon na nasa it's complicated status o ang mapagkunwaring, 'mag bestfriend lang kami' pero ang totoo ay nagaaway lagi na parang sila kaya kelangan nila mag -cool off mula sa pagiging mag best friend . Karaniwan natin maririnig sa marami sa mga magulang natin o sa mga tito at tita, ninong at ninang na ang pagpapakasal ay hindi parang kanin (o sabaw ba?) na isusubo bigla at kapag napaso ay iluluwa. Kelangan siyang pag-isipan ng mabuti at gawin lamang kung nasa tamang edad, pag-iisip, tamang panahon at tamang katayuan sa buhay i.e kelangan ay handa ka sa pisikal, emosyonal, mental at pinasyal na aspeto ng pagpapakasal. Madalas kong natatanong sa sarili ko kung ang mga lolo't lola ba natin ay hind nagkulang sa pag-papaalala nito sa mga magulang natin. Minsan naman naiisip ko kung tunay na naiin...
Post a Comment
Read more

Life Lesson #50: of secrets and lies

I woke up hearing a story, of how everything would end. Of trust issues, and lies and secrets getting piled up to destroy something special, something sacred, something we thought was worth fighting for. Why hurt each other when you vowed to love each other eternally? It says that with love comes pain but when do you say that you've suffered enough? When do you draw the line of loving and letting go? Love. Prayer. Hope. That's all left to do when everything starts falling apart. Continue loving cause in love we may find forgiveness, pray cause in Him we'll never be wrong and hope that there will always be a better future ahead.
Post a Comment
Read more