Skip to main content

Square one.

The virus is evolving. It has become more infectious and more difficult to contain, in fact even more difficult to identify. The hospitals are beginning to feel the demand for isolation units once again. The emergency room slowly becoming more congested, with a lot of backlog patients needing admission but no available rooms. Correction - there are available rooms, but we lack nurses who can attend to these patients. And yet everyday, we see the numbers rising.

In the early part of this epidemic, as someone who works in the healthcare, I was afraid - all this is new to me and I see my mentors and the people I look up to struggling for the appropriate management to keep patients alive. That fear was somewhat pacified as we started to see more recoveries, as we close down some covid units and as we slowly transition to the new normal.

As we see patients everyday, we  started to see the complications of the lock down - people whose health deteriorated because they were unable to see their doctors during the quarantine. And despite trying to go back to the new norm, we were never complacent. We were always on our toes, always having that COVID-19 possibility in all the patients that we see.

But then we now see patients who are asymptomatic but testing positive for COVID-19. We see weird presentations - from what seemed to be rhabdomyolysis to what we know as uremia yet testing positive for the virus.

Being in the front line,  we also begin to question ourselves - were we really complacent? Did we really not assess the patient properly? Was there something else that we could have done to make sure that there were less people exposed?

And the fear builds up once again. The anxiety that was suppressed by not thinking too much, resurfaces. The scare of contracting the virus, more so transmitting it to our loved ones and the people who wait for us in our homes, is back. And the fatigue, that feeling of exhaustion of fighting and trying to win against something every. single. day. is very evident in the eyes of the people we work with.

This is far from winning, far from over. In fact, it all feels like we are back to square one.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Preparation.

How do you put 100 days of preparation, 4 days of examination and 3 days of waiting in one blog entry? You can’t. Haha. So I’m making this a 3 part entry. That very long hiatus from writing and this heart full of emotions had led me craving to write my heart out. So indulge me. I don’t think I would be able to encapsulate all the emotions in that one of a kind journey which led me to where I am today. But I would still try because having that experience is something that I would love to look back to (definitely not do again) but something that I would like to read about when I feel like strolling down my memory lane. It started the day after the review center (Topnotch medical board prep) orientation where we were welcomed with a wake-up call, the board examination is about three months away - 106 days to be exact. Will it be enough? Probably. And then came the diagnostic exams where in there was really the doubt of whether it will be enough.  Parang hindi . But it was...

May cool-off rin pala sa mag-asawa

May cool-off rin pala sa mag-asawa. Akala ko ang cool off ay para lang sa mga malalabong relasyon ng mag boyfriend o mag- girlfriend (para gender sensitive tayo), magkarelasyon na nasa it's complicated status o ang mapagkunwaring, 'mag bestfriend lang kami' pero ang totoo ay nagaaway lagi na parang sila kaya kelangan nila mag -cool off mula sa pagiging mag best friend . Karaniwan natin maririnig sa marami sa mga magulang natin o sa mga tito at tita, ninong at ninang na ang pagpapakasal ay hindi parang kanin (o sabaw ba?) na isusubo bigla at kapag napaso ay iluluwa. Kelangan siyang pag-isipan ng mabuti at gawin lamang kung nasa tamang edad, pag-iisip, tamang panahon at tamang katayuan sa buhay i.e kelangan ay handa ka sa pisikal, emosyonal, mental at pinasyal na aspeto ng pagpapakasal. Madalas kong natatanong sa sarili ko kung ang mga lolo't lola ba natin ay hind nagkulang sa pag-papaalala nito sa mga magulang natin. Minsan naman naiisip ko kung tunay na naiin...

Life Lesson #50: of secrets and lies

I woke up hearing a story, of how everything would end. Of trust issues, and lies and secrets getting piled up to destroy something special, something sacred, something we thought was worth fighting for. Why hurt each other when you vowed to love each other eternally? It says that with love comes pain but when do you say that you've suffered enough? When do you draw the line of loving and letting go? Love. Prayer. Hope. That's all left to do when everything starts falling apart. Continue loving cause in love we may find forgiveness, pray cause in Him we'll never be wrong and hope that there will always be a better future ahead.