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Life Lesson #39: Grinch

I think the grinch is trying to steal my Christmas.

It's been two days that I am having some bitter mornings and it's making me very sad.

Yesterday it was mocking my being a medical student who wish to learn things in a timeline, who doesn't wish to rush things and enjoy the learning process as I go through medschool.

and today, it's mocking my being a student at the very least. It's true that most of my batch mates are already earning money for their own or even helping their family, that they don't get to spend a lot of holidays because offices don't necessarily have long Christmas breaks unless you are teaching which gives you the same break as students. Nonetheless, there's a very huge margin of difference between us who have chosen the medical path and those who have chosen to go to business, to academe etc. I know this even before entering medical school, I have heard a lot of warnings on how we would really be late bloomers in terms of financial stability, in terms of employment success, even in raising our own family.

A friend even joked how once we graduated as amateur doctors, they would already be the head nurses. And while we are being interns on duty, we would be the talk at the nurses' station - how we are incapable and how they know more than we do because of experience. My dad has his fair share of stories as well, and he had set in me the mindset that goes this way -- 'sige lang. nauna ka lang. pagdating ng panahon, tignan natin'.

Such statement, although quite threatening to hear has a lot of the true element in it as well. It's true that I am still studying my a** off, burning eyebrows, and going almost insane to understand each and every cell in the human body. It's true that up until now I am under my parents' care, that I don't earn my own money and I rely on my allowance for living. and i would be like this for three more years. It's true that I am still a medical student, but after this, after all these, I would be a doctor who would help people, yes, even those who once joked about me being a student for a long time. And most importantly, I would be achieving my dream.

It's sad to think about it this way - that someday, these people would also come see me for their health. but it's really really annoying to hear comments and comparisons (which btw is the one thing i hate most). so forgive me just this one time that I want to rant my heart out.

being a medical student is really a difficult task with a much more difficult life ahead. but this is the path that I want, the journey that I chose. and I just wish that the people around me would just be more supportive and happy about it. unfortunately, I think the Grinch is really trying to steal my Christmas, that the bitter feelings are replacing the seasons' joy.

Three nights to go, I hope it's enough time to prepare myself for His coming:) sooo enough of the BVs. I hope I can write something nice and happy for my next blog entry :)

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