AnneC.

and i am so annoyed. i have so much hate right now because people are not acting their age, i am hating myself. i have no year end blog. well, that's a first. a lot of firsts for year 2012 i guess. let's pray for more good firsts for the next year :)

Yes. The world did not end yesterday. :p

Not. Well, i just cant help myself but ride with what is the trending topic for today, as they say, today 12/21/12 is the end of the world. Although i am not particularly sure what time the world would really end. I believe in the concept of 'end of the world' but I don't believe in the world is ending concept where there will be great earthquakes and great floods to bury the people alive. I believe in the second coming but not in the coming of Jesus where those who did well in their lifetime will be saved and those who have been mean and bad will be left to die. This is what I believe: Everyday, we experience the end of the world - facing the kind of problems that make you think that it is the end of the world. Some may really be more tragic than others while others really just don't tolerate as much. For instance, today is the hospital's Christmas party, and perhaps an end of the world problem that may happen today is if it rains so bad (i hate you storm) ...

I've been extra happy for the past few days:) first off was 72 :) it was not as what we hoped it would be because i became sick and was actually febrile that night. but i was happy that we were together, and it was the only thing that matters. he may have had no time to buy me a gift pero mukhang nakabawi na ako sa aking sadistic gift and sleeping through one of his rare movie requests. :p and then there was TRP. TRP or tao rin pala, is an annual thing in the UP College of Medicine where students showcase their dancing and singing. During my first year, I think I presented in three of the dances, while during this year and last, I only joined the chorale. But I only enjoyed this year maybe because I was finally really over my issues and I was with him :) Of course, to cap off that very special night, we won first for the first time. :) There was such high pressure because, it was our last year of joining TRP, and we did win with our soon to be graduation song. nakakaproud :) ...

You see, I am not someone who has a cool mood. I actually am moody, easily swayed by my hormones. easily annoyed by people I don't like and such. Everyday i encounter people I clash priorities with. There are quite a number of people who do not jive with the kind of personality that I have. either we are total opposites, or we are so the same, both extremes would give us a lot of things to argue about. And i try my best to extend my patience to people I know I will not get along with. really extend my patience, be the better person and learn how to compromise. Although there are really times when I can't handle myself and in an essence, 'explode'. Today, I just lost my cool. But I was still happy that I have changed from someone who answers back and says nasty things to someone who just keeps quiet and walks out. or sometimes, storms out of the room, to the road or to elsewhere, away from the person who caused my disdain. I also am proud of the fact that I know wh...

Irresponsibility once in a while is good for the brain and the heart. Although ideally you should manage your time wisely and have ample time for the acads, the extra-curricular, the friends, the family and the me time, we do not live in an ideal world that one is bound to compromise one over the other. What gets compromised all depends on people\'s own priorities. As for me, i have learned to prioritize acads over anything (as far as being a student is concerned) followed by me time which can be interchanged with the extra curricular stuff depending on my stress level. The weekend and today are one of those once in a while moments that i chose to be quite irresponsible of the things that are expected of me. And although i feel a little guilty, i just really feel better and more ready to face the next in line for my things to do. Yay. Life is good :)

It has always been a hazy idea for me how two guys can fall in love and be in a relationship. I have nothing against gays, I have a lot of friends who are gays, but I really dont have any idea how the guy-guy or even girl-girl relationship thing works. I have a lot of friends who have been into deep and lasting relationships with the same gender; and the media also has its fair share of personalities who can attest to how these kinds of relationships are really possible. But only tonight, after watching Maalala Mo Kaya for its Aids Awareness Day Episode that it actually dawned on me how it's not about who are in a relationship with whom or what kind of gender is involved. It all, as always, boils down to love. and the MMK story, has so much love involved that it got me really crying and heart broken. how such selfless and unconditional love can exist, without any boundaries, without any bias or prejudice. It would have been a great great world if people can love whoever they wa...

Our last rotation before this week/after the Big 4 was Family Medicine, this was a different and quite special rotation because I was the liaison officer for our block in this rotation. Every rotation/every module has a liaison officer who would act as the bridge between the department where we are rotating and us the students. This was one task that we were all familiar with since first year in medical school, but you'll only get the real deal of being an LO if you have been one. Luckily, I was only given the chance to be an LO for our block. I can't imagine the kind of stress in trying to please 160 people and in trying to bargain stuff for 160 people. The whole family medicine rotation was special but i do believe that that entails a separate blog entry perhaps an online copy of my reflection paper. What I would like to write right now in this very entry is how mentally, physically and emotionally draining it is (it still is present tense) to be a liaison officer. Al...

It's been a while since I last wrote something about the title. Well, maybe because I was too happy to care and whenever I start typing words to express how much love is making me happy, the entry will sound too cheesy for me. Tonight and the past week has been different. Either I am back to my expecting self that I started to get hurt because my expectations were not met or I am just plainly taken for granted. which is both sad. and which is why I have to warn whoever you are,  that this will be quite a sad and bitter entry. Maybe even too bitter for me, but.. I really want to write. What to do when the person you love who tells you that he loves you too doesn't do anything to make you feel special on your special day.  Birthdays are always special for me. It's the only day I don't feel guilty when I make myself feel special and when I am allowed to think that I actually matter. And I definitely appreciate people who actually try to make it more special. This past ...

A few months back, i blogged about a certain person who was actually giving me a hard time at school. I was indeed so frustrated of him and his actions as a team player. About three months has passed since that actually very emotional entry, and in fairness to him, he did actually improve. Through the next rotations (OB, IM and Surg), he became a better group mate, a better partner. There are days when he is being his old annoying self while there are those moments when you will actually be amazed at how responsible he can actually be.  Today was one of those days when he chose to be his old self. Arriving 2 hours late at the out patient department, when I have finished doing the task that should have been done by two people. I was able to interview a patient and do a thorough physical examination aside from the minor liaison officer duties that I have to do. I was able to do everything in 2 hours and I was preparing myself to present the case alone, when he arrived.  T...

birthdays are always happy days :) no matter what I do, where I am or who I'm with, i make sure that this day given to me will be a day which starts and ends with me having a light mood and a happy heart. today is my 24th birthday, 24 years of existence, of experience, of mistakes and challenges. of life lessons. 24 years of life worth celebrating. :) i spent the day with my parents, hearing mass, eating and watching a movie. we talked to my brother who is a thousand miles away from us. i received greetings from all sorts of social media and technology. and i appreciate each of this special moment and each and every person who took the time to text, type, edit pictures :) i am grateful for this day, for the people who made this day and my past 24 years really special and I am looking forward to more days like this and to more people who will touch my life and actually be a part of it :) birthdays give me that kind of warm and fuzzy feeling. and i still have 2 more hours befor...

This is the first All Saint's Day that I am staying here in Manila, and the first time I did not went home to visit graves of the people I love who pass away. Nonetheless, my prayers and my love are with them. So please don't visit me anytime soon :p now the yeeeeey! means a lot of things. 1. Our block (and the next) has conquered the BIG 4 for ICC. and now I wonder, how can we get any more benign when actually the rotations were not really too toxic, depends on the person actually :) 2. i'm three days away to turning 24. yeey. birthdays are happy days. :)) 3. parents are coming over :) 4. I was able to easily export my multiply blog to this blog :P blogdrive na lang and making this blog the ultimate blog of all time will soon happen. yaaaay! i love free days, when you don't know what to do or cant think of anything to do :) For now, i have to finish my surgery papers :) and think of more ways to improve this blog :p

I've been quite busy that I wasn't able to blog. not that it is anything new. :p but i have lots of time in my hands right now that i choose to blog while waiting for the 16 tv series episodes that I am downloading :) because aside from being able to blog, I can update myself with the new seasons of tv series which premiered almost 3-4 weeks ago. anyway, i was not able to write after our internal medicine rotation and it's been over for about a week and a half, just the same time that I am currently in surgery. These two modules and two departments who have been, in a way, competing on who is the better module or better department for i dont know how long. i've learned a lot in IM, and i dont think i can say the same for surgery. ooops sorry surgery people. although, there are still 3 days before i leave surg, so maybe i'll learn something more in the next week. or that i'm just too lazy to learn because my birthday is near or because it's been 4 month...

it's the same feeling of doing too many things at the same time and the feeling of being happy in doing what you do before and slowly transitioning to just being tired about it and deciding to not do it at all. if i am to be asked what drives me to do the things that I do, it's the happiness i get from doing the things I love to do. I actually don't know which comes first, the love or the happiness, all i know is that I am happy and I love what I do and with that I can function well. Just the same, I don't know which comes first with hating what I do and with being sad about what I do. I don't know where the transition of enjoying one thing and being tired from doing things, end and start. It's like jumping from one end to the other. and it's my sad sad reality. Sometimes I wonder if i am not a good team player. because I tend to do things on my own and I am happy when I am assured that everything is well because I, did them myself. I can be a good team ...

Four weeks has passed since we finished with Pedia and started with OB. I won't deny that the four weeks were looong weeks of looong days that sometimes I just want to make it through the day and get over it.  The days of an OB ICC start early, well relatively early especially if you are used to going to classes at 8 am and sometimes even later. The day welcomes you with endorsements from the previous obstetricians on duty (OOD) to the next in duty in front of everyone, residents, fellows, students and even consultants at times. The chief resident would ask questions about the case, the management and the theoretical stuff as well. Being the misunderstood bibo kids that we are, we were the favorites for this month (and sorry to future OB ICCs if that kind of legacy lives on:p). but the summary rounds made me learn a lot. Unfortunately, i think I learned more in OB than I did in pedia.  After the 30 minutes, we either go to small group discussions or preceptorials with t...

So pedia is about 4 days done, and i miss it. I definitely learned a  lot in our 4 week turned 3 week rotation in pedia because of the very ugly weather. It was definitely a rotation that gave me a great impression of a subspecialty that is very close to my heart. If i would put to writing the things that are memorable in this rotation this would be: 1. having a partner and yet working alone. well, there was  a peer evaluation anyway. and although it is just 5%, that is one of the things i looked forward to in ending the rotation, and perhaps one of the simple things i thought about to be able to survive, technically being on my own :) 2.the very high yield learning be it in the OPD, the ER, or during plenary discussions in staff conferences and lectures or case conferences. Learnings are definitely consultant based and i guess i am very lucky with the consultants that i have encountered with for this year. definitely those who you should look up to in the field of ped...

It's been 3 years since that fateful three day flood which left me and my cousin stranded in a neighbor's 2nd floor in Pasig. (see:  Ondoy Experience Blog ) I know it can get tiring to read about the same thing over and over again. but for some reason, the pour of the rain gives me the stimulus of panic, of fear that the same thing will happen again. And today, is the 3rd day of being dorm-arrested here in Manila because of heavy rains and yes, flood. I am really starting to believe that the flood follows me. Because even though our street is not flooded, our gate up to the first flight of stairs is (kiddie pool indeed!). there is also water pouring through wood cracks beside my bed, which really makes me think that I am a flood prone person and that I'd rather stay at home because if I go out, the flood may welcome me with open arms and eat me up. I have such rich history of floods that yes, I think I know what I am talking about. haha. Aside from the heavy rains and t...

I need to rant and I am giving myself 10 minutes to finish this blog to rant my heart out about one person who will definitely make my entire ICC really tough. Dear you, You are the primary proof that medical students can be very irresponsible. and it's sad. Yes, not all medical students are responsible, but not like you. You do not know your priorities, and yes i am judging you by the way you work, the way you present yourself and the way you show up in class, small group discussions and what-not. And i don't think I have judged you wrongly. We have been group mates since first year medical school, blame our surnames, and I never liked you. I never liked you at all.You brag a lot but you have nothing to boast, apart from your talents, which if I may add has nothing to do with medschool. You entered medical school because you wanted to be a doctor, are you sure? Because it sure as hell you have not given much that will make you deserving of such title (so far atleast) a...

Tomorrow (later), if classes will not be suspended, is our first day in our first ever clinical rotation for this year. You see, this year we as medical students, start our hospital work being in our Integrated Clinical Clerkship Year. We would mostly be assigned in the OPD, learning as much as we can on the skills, honing our clinical eye. In other words, this is the start where things should be more exciting, beyond the theories and the books. The past two months, have been an extension of last year, piles of transes to be read for an exam, weekly exams and who would have thought even assignments. and tomorrow/later (if classes are not suspended) would be the real start of ICC. In spite of the fact that most of my batchmates are really excited about ICC, the thought of 'real' freedom and a promise of a less toxic life. I'm kind of scared. And I guess we should all be. Because with this new type of learning environment, we would be meeting real life patients who need o...

last week, my brother texted me this very weird text message: "ate anne, bbye" and the paranoid big sister in me was of course anxious to find out what happened/is happening to my brother with that text. And so i called him and he told me that he was needed abroad the week after.  and tada! that weekend has come, and right now he's a four hour flight away from us :)  I'll definitely miss having him around, even though it would only be for some time (depends actually), it would still be different going home every weekend since he's not at home. actually, the thought of going home from the dorm is kind of pointless, especially if my parents are not here anyway.  I get shifted back to the time when I was also alone with just a kasambahay to help me get by day to day. considering the people at school as my true second family.  Nonetheless, I'm happy, because we are all doing each other a favor, my brother and me reaching our dreams to also mak...

This past two weeks, Ive been having a different kind of learning experience :) Being in the infectious diseases module last last week and the oncology module this past week, some of the many things i most learned about is HIV and of course cancer. But what made the past two weeks and the learning more special is being able to put a face in some of the diseases being taught to us. During our HIV workshop, we met B, a 22 year old who was diagnosed with HIV a few months back. He shared his experience in front of our class, recalling the different stages of DABDA (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance); and now living positively with HIV , trying to make a difference by sharing his story and making people aware. And he did make a difference, if not to all my classmates there, then at least to me. I admired his courage and i was definitely touched by his story. Then, just this week, our group examined, P who was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma. Being more hands on with...

Alas! It's July :) A month has passed and yes I'm enjoying my third year in medical school :) Now here's a little something to summarize my busy busy month and remind myself of the great things that has happened :) What better way to start my month but by seeing friends from long ago. I met with my chemistry college loves, my high school best friend whom I haven't seen in years and my chemsoc loves as well. These people are true living proofs of what friendship is, and how true friendship should be. a relationship that can stand distance and time. and that after a long long time, even with the many changes in our lives right now, the friendship remains - even with a simple lunch, dinner or a game over monopoly deal. I feel so blessed to have  these people as my friends :) May 30, 2012 - my college buddies kate and me-an at our house with my creative drawing of our friends, rhoux shyne, shang and OG using my new ipad pen from robert. next time, let us be com...

This last summer is definitely one of the best summers I've had. I've been to a lot of places with different sets of people: friends, family, orgmates, blockmates. (and yes, nakakapagod siya. haha. dora mode kung dora). With people and places, there's also food! that i am having extra problems burning those excess calories :p And aside from the many places and the yummy food which gave me more reasons to love our beautiful country, all the experiences definitely made me learn a lot of things as well. :) I've postponed writing about this super summer, because it would mean that the fun and the sun would really really be over, but if I really want this to be a summer that I won't forget then writing about it before the first OS exam this Friday must be done. :p April 1, 2012 - Andie's 3rd Birthday! Bulacan Even before the compre is through, I attended my inaanak's 3rd birthday swimming pool party at Bulacan. The first of the many swimming that I had this ...